Saturday, December 20, 2008

I'VE DONE GOOD THINGS THIS YEAR



However, the question still remains-- Has your husband been paying his bills?

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The Name's "Lack of Inspiration"

ALRIGHT, SO I MADE A MISTAKE-- ONE MISTAKE.

Can't a man start over...?

DOES HE HAVE TO KEEP ON PAYING!?

video

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The Legacy of Captain A. Meter

I'M HERE TO RESCUE YOU (violently throws his baseball cap to the ground)

video

So I Bought a Discounted Hannah Montana Wig at Walmart


Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Why Must Everything I Abuse and Mistreat Betray Me?


So my barely one year old Western Digital Raptor drive decided to bite the dust just late last week. Everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING that I was currently working on was stored solely on that drive (I own an external backup hard drive, though I moronically filled it up with movies and music files a long time ago; thus making it impossible for me to back up any of my truly important and irreplaceable files). So, needless to say, I was pretty devastated and mortified when this occurred completely out of the blue (and ironically one hour before I was going to go out and buy another drive to back it up), and the prospect of having the drive professionally repaired and/or recovered was completely out of the question (sorry, but my information, as personally valuable as it is, just isn't worth $1,300). As a result, I tried something pretty outlandish and downright desperate to get my data back; I stuck the drive inside of my freezer and let it sit in there for 24 hours straight (as I assumed the crash was due to a mechanical failure, and the ice cold temperatures would help the parts inside contract and perhaps allow it to operate properly again). The next day, I quickly removed the drive (which was covered in a thin but impenetrable layer of frost) and plugged it back into my computer. At first it sounded like a malfunctioning coffee grinder, but after about fifteen minutes of praying like hell that it would work, it suddenly spun up and booted into windows. Immediately I copy and pasted all of my most important files onto my external backup; in the meanwhile, the drive heated up so quickly that all of the ice had melted and left a huge puddle on the floor (I suppose I should count myself lucky that it didn't wind up short circuiting or something-- or hell, lighting on fire for that matter). As soon as the last file had finished copying, the drive finally decided that it had had enough and crapped out again. So yeah, a happy ending, right? Well, I suppose so. But one thing still perplexes me...

THE DAMNED THING WAS BARELY A YEAR OLD-- How in God's name does a drive burn itself out in such a short period of time? Hell, I've still got a nine year old Seagate drive in another computer that runs like clockwork!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Fall of Rudolpherous Maxamillious Kaizerstrudel

Bein' a 10 year old tribal warlord just ain't as easy as it used to be (especially when you've got dissenting 69 year old women with a lust for young blood).

video

I Do It For The Fans

In other news, I'm completely naked and goosepimply as I type this (hypothermia, yo).

Some Digestible Matter for Thought

Gefilte fish, anyone?

video

Monday, September 15, 2008

TERIYAKI CHICKEN DINNERS


Eating snot-jewels and peeling potatoes (as usual).

A Grisly Spectacle

Couldn't you hear them? DIDN'T YA SEE THE CROWDS?
video

MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS CHRIST

Nervous laughter can be heard in the background.

HELLO THERE, LADIES AND GERMS


I'm gonna set a record and suck off three deceased Jewish actors penises simultaneously.

Thursday, September 11, 2008